30/09, will mark the 100th day since you left...
It's been quite an emotional day for me today, because i can't stop missing you today. I've trying to ignore this feeling but memories of your love and smile keep popping out in my mind.
I was never close to you from my childhood and i know i am not your favorite one but you treated me with many love and i am more than grateful. You brought me more than a family of my own, and you brought my brothers and sisters.
I felt i have not love you enough and i could love you more. I could have done more than my old man has not done well to you, and the word "sorry" will not ever enough for me to tell you how much regret of what i've failed to do so.
I miss you, and i miss how you always sit me down and tell me all the stories when you are young. I miss the way how you just let the tv on with your eyes both shut looks like you are sleeping, but actually you are not. It's tricky for me if i wanted to change the channel, you would just suddenly wake up and tell me to switch it back.
I miss how you critics the food when it does not up to your standard, maybe that's explain why i am chef because i remember very well how happy i was when i first cook and you actually like it! I remember, it was chicken with sweet plum sauce. Then the time i was on my long vacation to cook on daily basis for you at Brisbane, it was the greatest achievement ever for me to make you actually eat so much in the end.
And the way you curse, i am sure we 5 grandchildren learn the best out of your beautiful way of expression. That part, truly brought colorful conversation and laughter with non any of us offended. Because it reminds us all the good memories you brought to our daily life, and i really miss that.
You have no idea how lucky i felt myself to be your grandson, because i am so proud to tell everyone i have the greatest grandma even i know other will feel the same with their own grandma. And doesn't matter what my life has brought me into, i am extremely lucky to have this family and you are this miracle maker.
Now you left, but your memories stays.
God knows how your smile i tattooed on my chest will turn into, but your memories stays.
Up there i know you can hear me, and i want to tell you: